Stuck In A Spin Cycle Of Self-Sabotage? Here’s How To Get Out Of It

When someone hires me to be their business coach I take a very close look at how they run their business.

I not only take a magnifying glass to their online presence, but I also want to know what they do offline to grow their business.

Some clients are openly surprised by this.

They shouldn’t be.

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Creating customers/clients offline is still the most profitable way for a small business to build revenue.  

Hiding in your office, for example, is not going to grow your business.

But there is of course much more to this.

Hiding in your office, refusing to attend networking events or meetups and generally avoiding opportunities to mingle with prospects is just another way you self-sabotage.

Of course, I have coached a fair share of clients who don’t hide offline or online but despite being ambitious and outgoing struggled to close clients and sales.

Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of achieving your goals.

There are many reasons why we practice self-defeating behaviour.  I am not going to go into all the reasons here but I will address the two elephants that show up time and again with my clients who are all either entrepreneurs or small business owners.

1. Worth

“Resistance by definition is self-sabotage.”
― Steven Pressfield

Have you heard of cognitive dissonance?  Basically, it’s our way of proving our core beliefs to ourselves.  Let me explain.  If you believe deep down that you are not good enough or smart enough but suddenly start achieving great things, like maybe you sell out program after program or go from earning $1000 to $30 000 per month, and you haven’t done the work of releasing your negative beliefs then your actions are going to align with your beliefs.

So to prove you’re not worthy of success you will find a reason to take that extended vacation, stop your campaigns and pull out of speaking engagements.  Most people think they fear failure when in truth they fear success because actually achieving their wildest and most audacious goals won’t sync with their beliefs.

2. Feeling like a fraud

“It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I’m just going, Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved.”  – Emma Watson

The impostor syndrome manifests when you do as little as possible to draw attention to yourself (like hiding in your office) or you hustle until you make it BIG and then worry that you are a fraud.

Further reading recommended for you: 5 Ways You’re Subconsciously Sabotaging Your Online Success

Ok, what do you do if you’re in this spin cycle of sabotage?

Do this:

STEP 1

Acceptance

Accept the part you played in getting to where you are now.

STEP 2

Clarity

Sit down with a piece of paper and pen and list all the ways you know you are sabotaging your own success.  

Divide the paper in half.

On one side write out your self-sabotaging behaviour and on the other half of the paper answer the question:  Why?

For example:

  1. I can’t afford to hire someone (to help out with my administrative or marketing tasks) which in turn would free up more time for me to focus on making sales or creating a new product.  

Question:  Why?

Answer:  Because I don’t believe I can bring in more business.  I am not confident enough in my own abilities.  

2. I watch cat videos for hours on my tablet.

Question:  Why?

Because I dread writing blog posts because I don’t believe I’m a good writer.

STEP 3

Forgive yourself.

STEP 4

Take action

Knowledge is power.  You can only change those beliefs and habits that you are aware of. So go on, change something.

Now over to you.  Where are you holding yourself back? What actions will you take to move forward?

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About Yolanda

I help small business owners stand out so they can attract a consistent flow of ideal clients. I have over a decade's experience in marketing and business coaching and can help with online marketing, Social Media, content creation, SEO optimization and paid advertising.

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